My list of things that must go

Every week, X96, a local radio station does a segment called "Our list of things that must go." I haven't heard it since I stopped working, but every time I did hear it I would have my own little list of things that I think should go and I was reminded yesterday of my little list, which always changes, when I was driving home from church. Please understand that if you do something on my list, it doesn't mean I don't like you, I just don't like what you do and judge you constantly. So here is my top ten list.

1. People that don't clean up after their dogs

It's disgusting and don't think that just because it's winter and there's snow that no one will notice because, genius, the snow melts. And also, just because you have a small dog doesn't mean that their poop doesn't need to be picked up because it's smaller. Be a decent neighbor, nay, human being and clean up after your dog.

2. Metal license plate covers that have the name of the car engraved on the bottom.

As if I don't know that you are driving a BMW or the always "cool" Corvette, you have chosen to seek out a cover that shows the world behind you exactly what you are driving and made the assumption that the American public has never seen the likes of that exotic car that you have painstakingly chosen to show off while wearing your Polo shirt collar turned up.

3. Luxury SUV's

I understand that some people have a lot of money and would like to not only live in luxury, but would like to also drive in it, but I have to say that whenever I see a luxury SUV like, say, a Mercedes, BMW, or Lexus, the only word that comes to mind is "pretentious." I mean, do you really plan on taking your $60,000 car off-roading any time soon only to immediately take it to a car wash where you will tip the poor 16 year old who just cleaned your car for an hour $1? No, the reason that car was purchased was to show that you can afford a car like that. And what's wrong with a nice Toyota Four-Runner or Honda Pilot? Not expensive enough?

4. Backing into parking spaces

Let's think about this, guy in giant diesel truck doing a 50-point turn trying back into the smallest parking stall at the mall and causing a mile-long line of waiting cars. Sure, when you leave you'll be able to pull right out, but has it really saved you time when it takes 15 minutes to actually park your car? No, it hasn't.

5. When people say " 'We' need to do something" when they actually mean " 'You' need to do something."

Don't get me wrong, I love my old boss and still try to stop by and see her when I can, but nothing would drive me more crazy then when I would have to reschedule an entire clinic, but was told to by saying, "We need to call all these patients and not only reschedule their clinic times, but also the CT's, MRI's, Ultrasounds, Angios, and X-rays that I know took you a very long time to coordinate on the same day to another day." Believe me, there was never any "We" involved.

6. When Ellie poops in the tub.

Seriously, she needs to stop and now instead of saying "poo-poo in the potty", she says, "poo-poo in the tub." So now when I bathe her I just stare at her face and when she starts making that really hard look of concentration, and you know what I mean, I immediately grab her and get me and the entire bathroom soaking wet. It's driving me crazy!

7. Romantic comedies with Julia Roberts

They meet, the argue, date another person for five seconds while only thinking of the other one they argue with, go to their apartment, profess love, end up together and all this is wrapped up in a stupid song sung by a girl who isn't even old enough to understand what love is. I hate romantic comedies with Julia Roberts.

8. The Jonas Brothers

I'm not really a big fan of any group whose members aren't old enough to drive, but I particularly dislike The Jonas Brothers. Why, you ask? From the syrupy/horrible lyrics to their style, they need to be banned. Is there really ever a need to wear painted on jeans, t-shirt, vest, and scarf all together? No, there isn't and therefore it should never be worn.

9. People that tell me, and I quote, "You need to put a clip in your daughter's hair."

Listen, I know her hair is curly and wild and sometimes looks as if I brushed it with a pork chop, but when she pulls out every clip or bow or anything else I've ever tried the second I put it in, it feels a little pointless. Why don't you focus on other things like the fact that she can sing all of "Twinkle twinkle little star" or that she can count to 15 or maybe that she can point to and say quite clearly all of the animals at the zoo and what sounds they make. It's a superficial society we live in.

10. FOX News

I know I've said this before, but I have to say it again. I think FOX News is the worst news station in America. From Bill O'Reilly to the occasional Satan's spawn that is Ann Colture, there is nothing redeemable about FOX News and their complete and utter one-sidedness when it comes to politics, politicians, or anything else they deem non-conservative. If I'm feeling bad, I know I can watch FOX News and get a good laugh at every ridiculous thing that comes out of all of their mouths.