Monday, March 30, 2009

The Mexi-fry Incident

So there we were, my family and I, sitting at Taco Time eating a delicious and deep-fried fattening meal of Mexican food when it happened.  First, let me begin by thanking two people: First, the person that invented the crisp bean burrito and  second, the person that invented Ranch dressing.  Moving on.  In the midst of our meal and conversation about what Ellie did today, how work was for Hubert, am I going to finally shower when I get home, I overheard a most stimulating exchange between a man, probably in his 30's and who had obviously never visited this eating establishment, and the 16 year old cashier behind the counter.  Now, it's not him ordering the food that was interesting, it was what happened afterwards.  Unfortunately, when this happened either Ellie has spilled something and Hubert was busy cleaning it up or he had stepped away for a minute getting more salsa.  Who knows, really?  But what he missed was priceless and this was what happened.  Let me preface this conversation between this man and boy by saying that mexi-fries are tater tots.  And this is what happened:

Cashier: (Handing bag of food to man) "Here is your food, sir."

Man:  (Taking bag) "Thank you."  (Looking in bag) "Wait, what are these?"

Cashier:  "Those are mexi-fries".

Man:  "No, these are tater tots."

Cashier:  "Well, yes, but they are called mexi-fries."

Man:  "These are tater tots and I didn't order tater tots."

Cashier:  "Um, ok, do you want me to give you your money back?"

Man:  "No, I want what I ordered and I ordered mexi-fries, not tater tots."

Cashier:  "Well, the tater tots here are called mexi-fries."

Man:  "Well, that's ridiculous.  You need to tell people that they aren't ordering mexi-fries, they are ordering tater tots."

Cashier:  "But the mexi-fries are tater tots."

After the poor kid said this, the man stormed off and he stood there with the most confused look on his face and I noticed that I had been staring and finally looked away and could not believe the ridiculousness of what just happened.  It was hysterical.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

And I thought I was just getting fat

Well, it's been confirmed. Hubert's seed found purchase and we will have another little peanut running around in about 7 months. I always have a fear, as if I have had 15 kids, that there really isn't a baby in there and my gut is just expanding because McDonald's cheeseburgers are delicious, but not in this case. Luckily, there is a baby in there, thank goodness it's only one, and it has a strong heartbeat of 175 and looks like an alien, but my alien. So far everything has gone well. Unlike with Ellie, I have only thrown up a handful of times, whereas with her I would throw up a handful of times in the span of one hour, which makes me think I'm having a boy, but who knows? But we are very excited and will keep you loyal followers updated as the months progress and I expand into a person that once resembled Meagan, but now resembles a large, slightly swollen version of Meagan in a fat suit. Isn't pregnancy great?

Monday, March 23, 2009

My list of things that must go


Every week, X96, a local radio station does a segment called "Our list of things that must go." I haven't heard it since I stopped working, but every time I did hear it I would have my own little list of things that I think should go and I was reminded yesterday of my little list, which always changes, when I was driving home from church. Please understand that if you do something on my list, it doesn't mean I don't like you, I just don't like what you do and judge you constantly. So here is my top ten list.

1. People that don't clean up after their dogs

It's disgusting and don't think that just because it's winter and there's snow that no one will notice because, genius, the snow melts. And also, just because you have a small dog doesn't mean that their poop doesn't need to be picked up because it's smaller. Be a decent neighbor, nay, human being and clean up after your dog.

2. Metal license plate covers that have the name of the car engraved on the bottom.

As if I don't know that you are driving a BMW or the always "cool" Corvette, you have chosen to seek out a cover that shows the world behind you exactly what you are driving and made the assumption that the American public has never seen the likes of that exotic car that you have painstakingly chosen to show off while wearing your Polo shirt collar turned up.

3. Luxury SUV's

I understand that some people have a lot of money and would like to not only live in luxury, but would like to also drive in it, but I have to say that whenever I see a luxury SUV like, say, a Mercedes, BMW, or Lexus, the only word that comes to mind is "pretentious." I mean, do you really plan on taking your $60,000 car off-roading any time soon only to immediately take it to a car wash where you will tip the poor 16 year old who just cleaned your car for an hour $1? No, the reason that car was purchased was to show that you can afford a car like that. And what's wrong with a nice Toyota Four-Runner or Honda Pilot? Not expensive enough?

4. Backing into parking spaces

Let's think about this, guy in giant diesel truck doing a 50-point turn trying back into the smallest parking stall at the mall and causing a mile-long line of waiting cars. Sure, when you leave you'll be able to pull right out, but has it really saved you time when it takes 15 minutes to actually park your car? No, it hasn't.

5. When people say " 'We' need to do something" when they actually mean " 'You' need to do something."

Don't get me wrong, I love my old boss and still try to stop by and see her when I can, but nothing would drive me more crazy then when I would have to reschedule an entire clinic, but was told to by saying, "We need to call all these patients and not only reschedule their clinic times, but also the CT's, MRI's, Ultrasounds, Angios, and X-rays that I know took you a very long time to coordinate on the same day to another day." Believe me, there was never any "We" involved.

6. When Ellie poops in the tub.

Seriously, she needs to stop and now instead of saying "poo-poo in the potty", she says, "poo-poo in the tub." So now when I bathe her I just stare at her face and when she starts making that really hard look of concentration, and you know what I mean, I immediately grab her and get me and the entire bathroom soaking wet. It's driving me crazy!

7. Romantic comedies with Julia Roberts

They meet, the argue, date another person for five seconds while only thinking of the other one they argue with, go to their apartment, profess love, end up together and all this is wrapped up in a stupid song sung by a girl who isn't even old enough to understand what love is. I hate romantic comedies with Julia Roberts.

8. The Jonas Brothers

I'm not really a big fan of any group whose members aren't old enough to drive, but I particularly dislike The Jonas Brothers. Why, you ask? From the syrupy/horrible lyrics to their style, they need to be banned. Is there really ever a need to wear painted on jeans, t-shirt, vest, and scarf all together? No, there isn't and therefore it should never be worn.

9. People that tell me, and I quote, "You need to put a clip in your daughter's hair."

Listen, I know her hair is curly and wild and sometimes looks as if I brushed it with a pork chop, but when she pulls out every clip or bow or anything else I've ever tried the second I put it in, it feels a little pointless. Why don't you focus on other things like the fact that she can sing all of "Twinkle twinkle little star" or that she can count to 15 or maybe that she can point to and say quite clearly all of the animals at the zoo and what sounds they make. It's a superficial society we live in.

10. FOX News

I know I've said this before, but I have to say it again. I think FOX News is the worst news station in America. From Bill O'Reilly to the occasional Satan's spawn that is Ann Colture, there is nothing redeemable about FOX News and their complete and utter one-sidedness when it comes to politics, politicians, or anything else they deem non-conservative. If I'm feeling bad, I know I can watch FOX News and get a good laugh at every ridiculous thing that comes out of all of their mouths.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Fun at the park and on the potty

Holy Cannoli! I can't believe how bad I have been at posting on my blog. I apologize to my dozen, possibly baker's, readers who follow my interesting life. So instead of talking about everything that has happened in the past two months, let's go back as far as two weeks! First, we went to the exciting Layton park, you know, the park next to my alma mater. GO BLUE AND BLUE! After I stared at my high school in awe for the better part of 3 hours, I realized that I had come to the park not only with my loving husband and daughter, but also with those crazy Meese's. So here are some fun pictures.

Ellie's first experience in a swing and LOVING it!

Graham Meese, apparently bowing

Harrison Meese, too cool for the swing (it's so like him)

Swinging with her momma

And dadda

Second, we have a potty for Ellie, but in no way has it been put to good use, that is, until yesterday. While in her bath, she stood up, looked me directly in the eye and said, "Momma, poo poo in the potty." My excitement was the equivalent of Ed McMahon arriving at my house with a check for 10 million dollars. So I picked her up without even bothering to dry her off, put her on her potty where she sat for about 3 minutes telling me about pooping in the potty, and then after all of my excitement, nothing happened, but hey, it's a good start, right? And because I love taking pictures of my child naked, this was no exception. So here it is.