A poem, if you will

'Twas three weeks before Christmas and nighttime was falling,

I hadn't yet showered and Ellie was calling.

Hubert walks through the door, her face lights up with glee,

I hand him the baby, finally a chance to pee.

But something was happening, an evening of fun,

So ready, we got, for Ellie to see "The One."

Our branch Christmas party was finally here, a fun time with friends,

And the most fun at the end.

In walks The man, bag thrown over his shoulder,

The kids all go crazy and I have never felt older.

It's finally her turn and I lower her without error,

Who knew all her smiles would turn into pure terror.

Maybe next year will be better, I guess we'll wait a while,

But hey, at least Santa and I got to smile.

Let the holidays begin

The day after Thanksgiving, our little family had the opportunity to go with our friends, the Jensens, to Manti for the weekend.  I know what you're thinking and I'm sure it's going something like this, "Wow, Manti!  If only we were all so lucky."  But even though it's a small and quiet town, we had a great time with our friends, but the best part was when we drove up into the mountains, unhooked the four-wheelers, found our Christmas tree, and cut it down.  And to prove that Hubert and I did such a thing, I documented our journey.

Sure, it's a little Charlie Brown and Ellie thinks that she is helping me all day by removing all of the ornaments and handing them to me, but I love it and can't wait to do it again next year.

IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

This was the scene last night when my daughter threw-up all over me and the unexpected burning my skin felt.  Why am I smiling, you ask?  Two reasons:

1.  I wasn't aware that a 21 pound, 15 month old little girl could throw up as much as a 37 year old, 300 pound man.  I guess thinking about it made me laugh.

2.  The amount of gagging/laughing Hubert did while taking off Ellie's really gross pajamas. I told him that he pulled a Vince Vaughn and you know what I'm talking about if  you have seen the previews for his new movie, "Four Christmases."  

The radical 80's

As my daughter sits on my bed playing with my collection of jewelry which consists of one necklace, thank you Hubert, one bracelet, thank you mom, and one toe ring, thank you I don't know who, I decided to post about my five favorite 80's movies and my accompanying favorite lines.  Also, the order they are posted in not only reflects how funny I think they are, but also by how often I can watch them.

5. Some Kind of Wonderful

Keith: Well, I like art, I work in a gas station, my best friend is a tomboy. These things don't fly too well in the American high school. 

4. Say Anything

Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? 
Joe: By choice, man. 

3. Sixteen Candles

Lumberjack: What's your last name? 
Long Duk Dong: Dong. 
Lumberjack: What's your first name? 
Long Duk Dong: Long. 
Lumberjack: What's your middle name? 
Long Duk Dong: Duk. 

2. Real Genius

Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates. 
Chris Knight: *We* are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O? 
Kent: You did not. 
Chris Knight: This is true. 
Kent: Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay? 

1. Better Off Dead

---

Roy Stalin: You'd make a fine little helper. What's your name? 
Charles De Mar: Charles De Mar. 
Roy Stalin: Shut up, geek. 

An Historic Night

Last night, November 4th 2008, Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States.  I have to admit that I was emotional watching he and his family walk out onto that stage in Chicago to give his acceptance speech and in some ways I am still emotional and will continue to be.  As I saw this young African-American man stand so poised and humbled on that stage, I couldn't help but think of what has happened for him to get there and how many people have struggled and died through the years of slavery, segregation, oppression, and so many other trials in order for him to be able to hold the highest office our government provides, the office of the President of the United States of America.  I know that many  people didn't vote for him and are probably frustrated by the outcome, but hopefully the significance of what happened last night and how truly important it is in our  history will not be lost to them.  So today, I decided to find pictures of the long road it has taken for us to have our first and hopefully not the last African-American President.

Vote Early, Vote Often

After two hours of waiting in this line

This facial expression

Weaving in and out of bookshelves while Hubert wore Ellie's headband

This facial expression because we weren't planning on two hours and therefore left all food at home

And showing me her belly because that is where her food should have been

We voted 

Cool Outfit

This is what happens when she chooses what to wear.

A Pumpkin Amongst Pumkins

Last week Ellie and I went to the Black Island Farm with some friends and although the name makes no sense because there was nothing black about this place,except for the gigantic tires, and it was in Syracuse, a land-locked town (like all of Utah), we had a great time.  And here are some fun pictures.

The Shower Incident

Have you ever found yourself in a peculiar situation?  One that you really don't know how or why you got there?  Well, this such situation happened to me just the other night, or should I say morning.  You see, at 1:15 in the am on Saturday, I found myself standing in my shower with no recollection as to how I got there.  The only reason I regained consciousness was because I noticed the scalding water that was burning my skin.  Luckily, I wasn't standing in my clothes in the shower, but it was still a little jarring.  So anyway, there I was, totally confused and at the time I didn't know what time it was.  You see, I had to be up at 5:00 so in my mind I was thinking that my body just got up because it knew it was time.  Yeah, I know, dumb.  But I guess what really threw me off was when I got out of the shower my alarm clock was sitting on the bathroom counter.  Now, I'm sure that most people have a small alarm clock, but ours is huge 

as seen by it almost being half the size of Ellie and it's also awkwardly plugged in behind my bed and night stand, so pulling the plug isn't easy, as I realized by the huge scrape on my wrist.  Now I'm staring at the alarm clock really trying to figure out what's going on and wanting to know the time because I thought I was running late.  I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my watch and it read 1:15.  I didn't think that could possibly be right, so I went downstairs and the other clocks read the same thing.  I think at the exact moment I realized what had happened and laughed really hard and went back into the bedroom.  Unfortunately, I have slept-walked before but never to this extreme.  Another unfortunate thing is that you need a degree in engineering to figure out how to set the alarm clock, so I had to wake Hubert up to help me and of course explain what just happened.  We both got a pretty good laugh.

Off The Wagon

Wow, where do I begin?  I guess it all started about 2 weeks ago.  Hubert and I were out to dinner and when the waitress asked if we would like anything to drink I immediately said water.  As soon as she started walking away, and after Hubert ordered his Coke, I thought that I had been very good at drinking only water and I deserved a delicious treat and so I yelled after her like like a woman panicly yelling at her child who is about to get hit by a car. After she cautiously returned to our table I ordered my Coke and that was that, I was hooked again.  Three delicious Cokes later we were done with our meal, but I wasn't done with Coke.  Of course we didn't have any in our home, so I thought about an excuse I could use to get it back into our fridge.  I remember that I was grocery shopping the next day and I needed to come up with a list and I had recently learned the recipe for Cafe Rio pork and it required about 6 cans of Coke and just knowing this information and that my next fix was only hours away, I could sleep that night.  The next day I awoke with a new sense of purpose, and that purpose was getting that delicious amber-brown nectar that simultaneously burned my throat and tickled my nose with it's delightful fizz to be mine, and only mine.  Oh, why only mine?  Well, I couldn't possibly let Hubert know my addiction had returned, so I decided I needed to hide my Cokes around the house.  Now, I know this looks gross, but really with a little soap and a bucket full of scolding water, it came clean.

Because I am the only one who waters our one and only plant in the house, I knew that Hubert would never suspect I hid one there and besides, don't the colors look great together?  I wonder if I could use the unlikely combination of red and green during an upcoming winter month and decorate crafts, lights, and possibly a pine tree which I plan displaying in my living room.  It's really amazing how drinking Coke really expands my mind.

If you look away too quickly, you might have missed the Coke amongst my beloved Japanese dolls, but there it is, silently camouflaged.  Again, Hubert doesn't pay much attention to my decorating choices and even though these dolls are displayed directly in front of our living room, I don't think he'll notice.  It's the perfect cover.

Of course, my cover of being a non-Cokeaholic was blown and I had to face my demons, which I have been doing for the last two days along side the gigantic headache that always accompanies my relapses.  So please, if you see me in the neighborhood, don't look away and cross the street in order to avoid me.  I'm human, too.  

Why I Love Sesame Street

I love Sesame Street for many reasons, but I have decided to narrow the reasons down to three.  So here we go.

1)  For one hour a day, Ellie is completely entertained by Elmo, Big Bird, Grover, The Count, and so many other little monsters.  And for that one hour, I am able to not really do things that would tickle my fancy, but things that need to be done none the less.  So, thank you, PBS, for making the show an hour long.  I know so many mothers that are greatly appreciative.

2)  Elmo.  That's really all I need to say because she loves him and everything about him.  From his cute voice, his laugh, his googley eyes, red fur, and the fact that he speaks in the third person, which, OK, I guess I love.  But, he makes her happy and when he's doing his "Elmo's World," nothing else matters, as seen in this picture.  Oh, and please notice that not only is Elmo on the screen, he is also in the form of a Halloween basket right next to her.  Like I said, she loves Elmo.

3)  The guests and skits.  Sesame Street has had so many guests from Andrea Boccelli and David Beckham to Robert DeNiro and Tina Fey and I have to say that they have never disappointed.  And speaking of Tina Fey, Sesame Street did their own little version of "Thirty Rock," but instead titled it "Thirty Rocks."  I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, but take a look your self.  It's pretty good.

Something's Missing

I need to remember the diaper goes around her bum, not her neck

And with legs like these, who needs pants?

Ellie's 1 year pictures, with her parents on the side

We had family pictures and Ellie's 1 year pictures taken about a month ago, so I thought I would post some of my favorite ones.

A Moment...with Meagan

This past week Ellie and I have had a bit of a cold so instead of being outside playing, we have been inside playing, but the cabin fever finally got to us and we had to leave the house.  While still pajama'd, I put her in her car seat, put myself in my car seat, and off we were with endless possibilities.  The sky was blue, the weather cool, our sunroof open and wind was blowing through our hair.  It wasn't until I turned on the radio that I realized that my day wasn't going to be as good as it could have been.  Why?  Because I realized after flipping through each channel on the radio  multiple times, there was no good music, none, zip, zilch.  I'll  just be blunt, it was all crap.  And that is where this moment begins.  As I was sitting in my car, silently swearing because I forgot my i-Pod on this wonderful car ride that would be so complimented with a good song, I started to think about music in this day and age and I realized that I miss good music.  Sure, sometimes there is a catchy song that I find myself moving along to, but do I want to know anything about the artist?  No.  Do I feel the need to buy the CD?  No.  Do I forget the song as soon as I hear it?  Yes.  So what happened to good music?  I guess I have to clear the cobwebs of my mind and return to when I consider music to be good.  When my brothers played Depeche Mode in our little home on Altus Air Force Base and I happened to over hear it and be hypnotized with their dark lyrics and synthetic sound.  When hearing any song by Erasure would then, and even now, make me sing out loud with their melodies.  Or what about when the alternative era emerged?  

Nirvana played music that no one had ever hear before and it was dark, depressing, solemn, and so good.  To this day, they are still Hubert's favorite and as I'm typing this I'm looking into the face of the deceased Kurt Cobain on  my desk from a disc set that we recently purchased.  But what about other bands from that era?  There's Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Sonic Youth, Pearl Jam.  And let's not forget that fashion that was born.  I mean, who wasn't wearing flannel shirts tied around their torn jeans?  But not only do I love alternative and synthesized music, I also love hip-hop and even rap.  When was the last time a De La Soul song was played on the radio?  Or what about Jurassic 5?  Sometimes I hear A Tribe Called Quest, 

but only late at night when the DJ's bosses have gone home and they have free range.  Now, I'm not saying that all "new" music is bad, because it's not.  There are a few who have broken through the lame sounds of Britney Spears, Jonas Brothers, and every whiny Emo group that is out there.  For example, when Coldplay came out I thought they were awesome and have only gotten better.  And what about Feist?  

If you've never listened to her, give her a try.  And, of course, there are so many more bands that I love like the Beastie Boys, Indigo Girls, Sara McLaughin, Weezer, Death Cab For Cutie, and this list could go on and on.   Now, with all of the generic music and "artists" that are  being manufactured as fast as American Idol has seasons, how do we teach our children what, in fact, is good music? Well, I have been experimenting with ways to sway Ellie from lame music by artists such as Fergie or Miley Cyrus and showing her they are no good by doing various hideous facial expressions and hand gestures, and then we play a Beck or Frou Frou song which we happily, if not badly, dance to, therefore letting her know this is good music.  So far,  it seems to work, as you can see by this picture showing Ellie dancing to Coldplay's Viva la Vida.

So in closing, I know that if we all work together, we can stop the likes of Christina Aguilara, Justin Timberlake, the cast of "High School Musical," all of rap's "Lil's," and so many more.  And if we are able to wipe out all of the bad music out there, then maybe we could wipe out everything bad, like poverty, malnourished children, FOX News, and everything else detrimental to our society.