Off The Wagon

Wow, where do I begin?  I guess it all started about 2 weeks ago.  Hubert and I were out to dinner and when the waitress asked if we would like anything to drink I immediately said water.  As soon as she started walking away, and after Hubert ordered his Coke, I thought that I had been very good at drinking only water and I deserved a delicious treat and so I yelled after her like like a woman panicly yelling at her child who is about to get hit by a car. After she cautiously returned to our table I ordered my Coke and that was that, I was hooked again.  Three delicious Cokes later we were done with our meal, but I wasn't done with Coke.  Of course we didn't have any in our home, so I thought about an excuse I could use to get it back into our fridge.  I remember that I was grocery shopping the next day and I needed to come up with a list and I had recently learned the recipe for Cafe Rio pork and it required about 6 cans of Coke and just knowing this information and that my next fix was only hours away, I could sleep that night.  The next day I awoke with a new sense of purpose, and that purpose was getting that delicious amber-brown nectar that simultaneously burned my throat and tickled my nose with it's delightful fizz to be mine, and only mine.  Oh, why only mine?  Well, I couldn't possibly let Hubert know my addiction had returned, so I decided I needed to hide my Cokes around the house.  Now, I know this looks gross, but really with a little soap and a bucket full of scolding water, it came clean.

Because I am the only one who waters our one and only plant in the house, I knew that Hubert would never suspect I hid one there and besides, don't the colors look great together?  I wonder if I could use the unlikely combination of red and green during an upcoming winter month and decorate crafts, lights, and possibly a pine tree which I plan displaying in my living room.  It's really amazing how drinking Coke really expands my mind.

If you look away too quickly, you might have missed the Coke amongst my beloved Japanese dolls, but there it is, silently camouflaged.  Again, Hubert doesn't pay much attention to my decorating choices and even though these dolls are displayed directly in front of our living room, I don't think he'll notice.  It's the perfect cover.

Of course, my cover of being a non-Cokeaholic was blown and I had to face my demons, which I have been doing for the last two days along side the gigantic headache that always accompanies my relapses.  So please, if you see me in the neighborhood, don't look away and cross the street in order to avoid me.  I'm human, too.