So long, old friend

Today I say goodbye to Coke, my loyal and trusted friend.  You never left me in my times of need and never disappointed.  I have loved every minute we have spent together, especially when I would take that first sip.  I didn't matter if you were in a bottle or cup, it was always satisfying, welcoming, and even warm, as if I was a child nestling in  your plastic bosom.  You never criticized me when I would drink one, possibly two, or regularly three of you during the day.  Do you remember those moments, Coke, when we would laugh together?  When after the morning of my wedding day, there you were sitting on my kitchen counter, congratulating me on my recent nuptials?  Or how about that time when Hubert and I were out eating Chinese food and when he said a funny joke I laughed and then took a sip from your frosty glass?  Or what about all those times when I would sneak next door during one of the many weekend Logan trips Jake and Ashley would take and steal a can of you?  Memories.  Will you miss me, Coke?  Will you miss our morning drives to the local Chevron station that had the drive-thru because I was too embarrassed to get out of the car in my pajamas?  Or what about the others that will be hurt by our break-up?  There's Heather, the girl at the gas station.  I know she'll miss our morning, afternoon, and sometimes evening encounters.  Do you remember that hysterical conversation we had that one time when she said, "That will be $1.30," and I replied, "Oh, you're prices have gone up?"  And she then ended this humorous exchange with, "Yes, it used to be $1.20 and now it's $1.30."  Just thinking about it makes me laugh.  Oh, why are we breaking up, you ask?  Well, Coke, there are a few reasons.  First, we have been together for so long, I feel like I know nothing else.  I often see people drinking a see-through liquid they describe as "water."  I find that fascinating because I only thought water was for bathing or the liquid that falls from the sky during a storm.  The second reason is when you are over a dollar a pop (pun intended) it really adds up.  And third, I have so many times heard doctors, health reports, and news stories talk about how you can add weight onto the human body.  Add weight?  All this time I thought because the label said  that there was no fat that it would actually help me lose weight.  Who would have thought that calories are the real culprit?  So, so long, Coke.  I'll miss you, but I'm sure that one day we will meet again.  We always do.